Eeks

I'm having an anxiety attack. I have an interview at Bailey Lauerman tomorrow at 9:00 and then an interview with the Daily Nebraskan at 1:00.

My car is being a piece of SHIT and randomly decides not to start. Knowing my luck, tomorrow morning will be one of those times it decides to break down.

It is more than I can handle.

To top it all off, it is snowing like a mother fucker outside, which means I have to walk outside in a skirt in the snow tomorrow... Ugh... Why was I cursed with these long ass legs? If I had a body with normal proportions I could wear dress pants and then I wouldn't have to freeze my ass cheeks off tomorrow.

Over Involved

I got a lot of good news today, which is kind of turning it into bad news.

I have an interview on Thursday for a position as an Advertising Executive at the Daily Nebraskan, UNL's newspaper. I just sent my resume to Bailey Lauerman to try to set up an internship starting next semester. Finally, I just found out that I made the new member committee for Honors Ambassadors.

What does all this mean? I'm going to be busy. If I get the internship and the Ad Exec. position, I will officially have three jobs. I think I might have to let the USDA job go. Even then, I'll still be busy.

Luckily most of my new member commitments will be over by the time all of that starts, but it still means I'm going to be very busy for the rest of this semester. Starting tomorrow, I have to conduct interviews for potential new Honors Ambasadors.

I guess it is a good thing I like to be busy!

Expectations

Is it fair to expect of others what can not realistically be expected of ourselves?

This weekend I went to the movie Rent with Megan. It was much better than I expected it to be. The audience at our showing, however, took some of the ambiance away from our theater experience. We happened to be surrounded by a bunch of middle school and early high school aged kids, who were all very enthusiastic about the show. Many felt it was necessary to shout, holler, clap and sing along during the show, and one young girl even felt some dancing in the aisle was called for.

My gut reaction was to condemn the under-evolved peons for their lack of taste, respect for others and appreciation for the show. I immediately muttered this, plus a few dozen four letter words to Megan. My second thought (maybe "sobering realization" would be more appropriate) was that I was probably this much of an imbecile when I was that age. I probably did things similar to clapping along to a movie in a movie theater and I probably thought I was pretty tough shit while I was doing it.

It was a very humbling and equally horrifying epiphany.

My new goal is to be a more understanding person. I'm sure that at some point in time I have done many of the things that I now find myself looking down on others for doing.

Everyone needs a reality check every once in a while.

Everyone Has A Talent...

...and mine happens to be shopping.

I think Nov. 25th, aka Black Friday, is my favorite day of the year. I have been shopping since 4:30 this morning. Crazy? Yes, yes it is.

Besides being tired and broke, I'm more content than I have been in a very long time. As weird as it may sound, shopping is very therapeutic for me. It probably isn't the best stress reliever, but it works.

I now have all of my Christmas shopping done, a complete ensemble for Beta's winter formal, a rather large addition to my DVD collection, new underwear, and of course, new shoes.

Digressing from my shopping extravaganza, Thanksgiving went much better than I expected it would. There weren't any fights. I think it is a Rodgers Family first.

Kyle, I miss you!

Are You Jealous?

Time for an update on the never ending excitement that is my life... eh.. or lack there of:

12:45--I woke up and put a pair of Kyle's sweat pants on. Then, desperately searched for a pair of socks, but could only find one of my own, so I took one of Kyle's (it was clean) that he had left at my room. (I am still wearing one of my own socks and one of his.)

12:55--I left for work.

1:10--Arrived at work 10 minutes late.

1:30--I started sifting dirt.

3:30--I took my 15 minute break for 30 minutes.

4:50--I left work 10 minutes early and went to my parents house.

5:30--I cooked dinner for my family and me.

6:00--I watched a movie with my dog.

9:00--I played Scrabble with my Mom and Dad.

11:27--I'm killing time until I'm tired enough to go to sleep.

Yup, I'm pretty much the coolest thing ever. My socks don't match, I've been wearing men's sweat pants all day, and I spent the night playing Scrabble with my parents.

Thanksgiving--Bittersweet

I have just completed a paper on why Mayan civilization reached a higher standard of living than the Aztecs and the Incas. I've been working on it for about 13 hours and seven minutes and I have never been happier to be finished with anything in my life! (Ok, so I exaggerate...)

Hmm.. Thanksgiving...

I am thankful for:

• Thanksgiving break
• Shopping the day after thanksgiving
• Free time to see my puppy
• Time to plan the after Christmas trip to the Plaza
• Baking and cooking (give me an apron and a hot pad, and you'll be looking at a happy woman)

I'm not thankful that:

• Everyone is leaving
• Kyle is going home (redundant--I know)
• I'll probably end up doing a bunch of homework because I won't know what to do with myself
• Kyle will come back and utter the inevitable returning home from getting really drunk with my friends and seeing my ex-girlfriends phrase, "I need to tell you something...." Even though I usually already have a pretty good idea of what he needs to tell me, my stomach still does a few somersaults every time I hear those words.
  

I'm scared to death of:

• Actually having thanksgiving dinner
• The inevitable family drama ( it isn't a question of will there be a fight--the question is, who will be in the fight?)
  
• Finals after break is over

Ya, I know I'm weird... I really can't help it.

Imagination--The Secret to Survival

I had an, how shall I put this.... "Interesting" day at work today.

Actually, I think a better word for it is "different."

I spent 2 hours pulling tape strips off of plastic sample trays (and another hour sifting dirt, but I do that every day.) When I started to get bored with my rather pointless and mundane task (about 2 minutes after I started,) I realized that the long tape strips became very curly after they were pulled off of the plastic. I had been sticking the pieces that I had already pulled off onto my pant leg to be disposed of when my task was completed, and they had somehow formed into a rather interesting and curly tape mess. I spent the rest of my tape removing time creating a very elaborate and intricate tape sculpture, which was promptly crumpled into a tiny, sticky ball when I was finished.

I am sometimes simultaneously amazed and horrified by the ways that I find to entertain myself.

I know you all probably assume that this was the highlight of my day, but you are wrong. I found out that my days of dirt sifting are coming to an end. My dad (ya, I know... I'm a spoiled brat) got me an interview for an internship at the biggest advertising/PR firm in Lincoln. Hopefully by the beginning of next semester I will be able to say goodbye to the soils lab forever!

Welp, time to go get ready. I have a hot date with my hot boyfriend and I'm going to be wearing my hot new dress with my hot black boots!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

This past week, I feel like I keep saying the wrong things.

What's even worse, is that the things that I've been saying are how I really feel. If the things I was saying were stupid things I didn't care about, then I would attempt to stop and probably feel bad for being a bitch. In this case, however, I feel bad because I feel like I'm being told that my feelings aren't important and I am at fault for feeling the way I do.

It might not seem like much, but I'm finding it to be a pretty bad situation. I'm a really blunt person and I don't think it is healthy to let things go that make you mad/sad/[insert negative emotion] for either person in a relationship. I think the person whose feelings are hurt has a right to express how they are feeling and should be able to expect that, if presented in a rational way, the other person should be receptive to the situation. I also think that the person who did something to make someone mad has a right to know what they did. Most likely the offender didn't know they were doing something hurtful, so the only way for this situation to be avoided in the future is to make it known.

I hate feeling like I'm being stupid for expecting a certain level of respect.

I hate it when someone tells you not to do something, but is actually doing the exact same thing you were doing.

I hate fights over retarded things that don't matter at all. If I had it my way, nothing this unimportant would ever escalate past the point of a short, serious discussion. I say, save the big guns for things that really matter.

I hate it when we zoom in so close that reality becomes distorted. I think everyone, myself included, would be much better off if he/she learned to take a step back and look at things from a wider angle.

More than anything, I hate wasting time because we never know when it's going to run out.

Nebraska Weather

What can I say? I HATE IT!!

Sunday, I was walking around in a tank top and jeans. Today, I look like a freaking sherpa about to embark on a journey up Mount Everest in all the clothes I have to put on to go outside. To top it off, I just looked at the 7 day forecast, and by next Sunday it is supposed to be 70 again. How can we go from 55 degree weather, to a blizzard, and then to 70 degree weather all in the same week?

This is fucking craziness. Why does anyone live here?

Common Criminal

Someone needs to lock me up and throw away the key.

I think I have officially become addicted to stealing music on the internet. I am probably going to be the next person to be arrested for downloading songs.

Not only am I an entertainment pirate, but this new found habit is also proving to be quite a distraction from more important things, such as school.

Putting my personal lapses in morality aside, I feel the need to be judgmental of other people (and myself actually--I think everyone has done this.)

Today, as Kyle and I were walking to class, a fire truck and an ambulance pulled into the parking lot that we happened to be walking by. There was a guy in a car who was obviously having some sort of medical emergency, and from the looks of it, had plenty of people around him watching out for his well being until the medical experts arrived. Most of the people walking around that area, however, still felt it was necessary to go out of their way to see what was going on.

I'm not saying I've never done it. When you drive by a car accident, it is only natural to slow down and see if there is a severed head in the gutter, which this is exactly my point. People never consider the person who is hurt or sick when they are satisfying their curious minds.

First, having any sort of medical emergency in public is always embarrassing. Second, having a medical emergency almost always entails that the suffering individual is doing just that--suffering. He/she feels and most likely looks like shit. Being the center of attention to people who wouldn't normally give that person a second glance is probably the last thing the suffering individual wants.

As of right now, I am making a resolution to not be one of those gawkers. A quick glance to assess the situation and determine if there is any thing I can do to help (the answer most likely being no) is the only considerate thing to do. Once I've determined that there is no use for me, I will continue with my regularly scheduled program.

(Kyle: this is in no way directed at you.)

Ooglers

Question: Guys, do you really think we don't notice, or do you just not care?

Why is it that most men blatantly stare at women's breasts? They could at least be subtle about it. It seems for many, subtly is unattainable.

I know what you're thinking: If guys are looking at your boobs, you are probably showing them off and deserve it. Wrong. Today I was wearing a turtle neck. How much more conservative can you get? They couldn't see the skin on my neck, let alone cleavage. Despite the coverage, guys still made eye contact with my boobs instead of me as I walked to class.

I have also noticed that the tendency for guys to stare at my boobs increases when I'm wearing sun glasses.

Reminder: Just because you can't see my eyes, doesn't mean I can't see yours!

Road Trip

Kyle and I went to Lawrence Kansas this weekend for the Nebraska v KU game. Unfortunately, we got our ass kicked all over the place. What is fortunate for me, however, is that I don't give a flying fuck about football, so it really didn't affect me. I was happy to see the crazy KU students tear down the goal posts and carry them out of the stadium in pieces while the announcer reminded people they could die and advised parents to keep their children close to them and out of harms way.

We stayed with a couple of Kyle's friends from high school. Despite the painfully horrible football game, we had a good time. John made me some kick ass Tom Collins in his magic bullet (it's a blender, not a dildo) and I had my first experience with the "big ass" pizza. It was everything I thought it would be and more.

Another high point occurred on Friday night when Kyle and I over heard a fight. A bunch of people were yelling between apartments a couple floors below us. They had to be drunk, because they were screaming the most ridiculous things.

"I'll show you a real man, bitch!"

Some incoherent female yelling.

"Oh yah, well call me when you lose your virginity!"

More female yelling.

"Hey bitch, why don't you suck on these balls."

That's about all I got before I passed out in my sleeping bag, and according to Kyle, didn't move at all until I woke up the next morning.

False Sympathy

Last night, Kyle called me around 9 and told me about all the stuff he still had to do that night. He had to finish a project he had been working on and start a new one. By the end of our conversation, I was feeling pretty sorry for him. The way he made it sound, I thought he was going to be up until 4 working.

Around 12:30 I get a phone call from him. I figured he was just going to inform me that he was still working on his homework and tell how much it sucked. This, however, was not the case. He wanted me to come over because he wasn't doing anything.

I thought this was kind of weird, but figured he had just overestimated the amount of work he had. Since I still had to move my car to the parking garage, I decided to be brave and walk across campus at 1 in the morning.

I get to Kyle's to find him completely plastered. His eyes were puffy and red and he had a huge goofy grin plastered on his face. The first words out of his mouth were, "I have a confession to make....IIIIIIII'mmmmmm DRUNK!!!"

I was amazed that he had enough time to get his homework done and get drunk before he called me to come over. After doing some investigative questioning, I found out that he had actually started drinking at 7 and then "did his homework" while he was wasted.

So while I was at home, working on my homework and feeling sorry for Kyle because I thought he was probably working really hard and really stressed out, he was actually drinking wine from a box with his friends.

Yup, he's a keeper.

Captain and Costumes

Let me start by saying I love Halloween!

Here is a recap of my weekend:

For me, the weekend started on Wednesday. My friend Corey and I decided we needed a mid week party, so we obtained a bottle of Captain Morgan's and had fun being drunk and weird.

On Thrusday, Corey, Scott, Kyle and I finished off the bottle of Captain and then went to a sorority philanthropy. Let me just say that those things are a lot more fun if you go intoxicated. After we stuffed our faces, we went to BETA and hung out for a while and then called it a night.

Friday, BETA had a Halloween party.
I'm Dorothy and Kyle is a palm tree. I drank a tiny bit too much that night and was slightly out of control. For some reason or another, I ended up walking to a gas station with a guy named Jason. On our way there, we met a bum and had a long, drunken conversation with him about his dog. After we had made our purchases and were about to go back to the party, the bum informed us that he was carrying a machete, so we didn't need to worry about being mugged. That was slightly odd.

When we got back to the party, I tried to walk in the door but found my path blocked by two guys who were also very inebriated. They decided it was necessary to start making stupid Dorothy comments.

"Hey Dorothy, will you take me home?"

The only thing I could think of to say was, "Um, no. I already am home..."

Call me the come back queen!

Saturday, Kyle and I rented scary movies and watched them with my roommate and some of our friends. After those concluded, we decided a trip to IHOP was the only logical thing to do. It was around 2 am when we got there, which is prime time for drunks. A table of extremely intoxicated, costume sporting, twenty somethings were seated next to us. One guy was so drunk that he felt it was necessary to go around to all the tables and try to scare people with his mask. It was quite entertaining.

Last night, a couple of my friends and I went to a short horror film competition. It was really fun. Most of the films ended up being more comedic than anything. Elizabeth and I decided that since it was Halloween, we needed to wear our costumes. We thought we were going to be huge weirdos, but about 1/4 of the people that were there ended up being in costume.
There were definitely some good times this weekend.